I think the stress is getting to me

Totally off topic, but I think I've been thinking too much about this wedding.

I'm having dress anxiety. There is a dress I really love. I have not tried it on, because I am a great large fat person, and they do not have sample sizes that fit a great large fat person. DO NOT get me started on why I find it wrong to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress without being able to try said dress on first. The bridal shop lady said it was in my proper silhouette--empire waist. And it's me. But my mother has those motherly concerns that it might make me look pregnant (UMMMM, it's 2009, I'm not pregnant, even if I was, it would be on my wedding day and anyone who would talk ish would be wierd), there was some discussion about sleeveless, to which I say, I have found very few stores selling dresses with sleeves (another question--why no sleeves or really shoulder-covering styles for winter weddings? What do brides do getting in and out of the car if they have no sleeves? Freeze to death? Supposedly they're returning for spring 2010, but I will believe that when I see it.)

I have tried on other dresses. I tried on one in Pennsylvania that felt like a costume. Cathedral train, draping. Beautiful dress, and if I was 50 pounds thinner, 4inches taller, and able to tan, it would have been super cute. But I'm none of those things and, although the ability to handle elaborate formal dresses is among my numerous varied skillsets, that train was a bit much. One dress reminded me of a kilt--any dress where your mother looks at it and says, "Can you just have them take that little part off there?" is a no. A couple dresses didn't make it out of the dressing room.

I look at websites, I read reviews, I ponder how a dress will look against the church backdrop or photos. Would I love it 20 years from now. Can my hair be done to make the dress look right? I am not kidding when I tell you I have put more manhours into the selection of this dress than I put into researching either of the cars I've bought, or the college I went to. PUT TOGETHER.

So, was it any wonder that I had the worst wedding related nightmare last night? I was wearing my pretty dress. And I looked thin and pretty and bridal in it. I had a nice veil. We were attempting to put my hair up. Into some fancy bridal 'do. Into which it would not go. My friends, current and high school, all kept bobbing into try to fix it. And it would not go. At one point, someone attempted to do ringlets. I don't know about y'all, but, after a certain point of hair spray and messing with my hair, any attempts to apply a curling iron don't result in a curl, but rather a perfectly straight, board stiff section of hair. It looked so horrible and I was so upset. And it didn't help that everyone kept saying it looked alright and they were playing wedding music. I think I threw something. I don't know if it means anything, I don't know if I should just calm down, or should I pick another dress. Or should I just stop drinking iced tea before bed?

Not much stitching occurring

I'm in the middle of a very busy stretch here (but then again, we all are). My best friend is coming to visit me a week from today, and I have to get the sewing room converted over temporarily to a guest room, so I've been boxing stuff up and taking it to the garage, so that the couch can be pulled out and she can actually move in the room. This weekend, I sing at a Christmas party, we are going to try to drive to Sharpsburg for the Memorial Illumination if the snow they are calling for holds off, and then either working or going for a family event on Sunday. I've been to the Illumination before, and it was beautiful, but they don't have it if it snows (we had a slippery snowfall last year on the day it was supposed to be and I had to work the next week), so I want to go. Plus, we have to clean the house up, and work. But it will be so much fun to see B! I haven't seen her in two years, and I can't wait! And then the next week is pretty packed with stuff to do. If I can just get through til the 19th, it will be easier. And next year, hopefully, I can afford to request lighter hours at my part time job so that everything gets done and the holidays are what they're supposed to be.

I am going to try to get some ornaments finished before Christmas. I got my small white tree from my mom yesterday and bought some aqua/tealy and copper colored ornaments to go on it along with my stitched ornaments. Now to figure out where to put it, since it's a bit bigger than last year's tree and we have become a plant rescue this year and there is a large bamboo plant where the tree was. We'll make it fit. I'm keeping the other tree, even though it's not exactly pretty, we can surely find a use for it somewhere. The only reason I'm not still using it is because my mom was asking me to come get this white one, and I have more stitched ornaments this year.

A New Start

but no picture . . .

My Joann's trip last night was spurred by my desire to get caught up on my ornament stitching. I'm a bit behind in my Bride's Tree, and my LHN Ornament came in last week, so I was ready to start.

I had an ulterior motive for going, though. When I was in at Halloween, I had noticed they had Christmas fabric with sheet music on it. I couldn't figure out what to use it for then, but I thought it might be good to use for the Fa-la-la ornament, so was checking on that. Of course, they didn't have any left--whoda thunk there would be a run on that in North Central Maryland? But I found some stripey fabric that matches perfectly. I was also looking for fabric to back an ornament HTB and I made together and that was fun--it's a frog in a martini glass saying, "Hoppy New Year," not exactly easy to match up, ya know? Joann's does not appear to carry either alcohol or Christmas frog-themed fabrics, and there are a bazillion shades of green, but I got lucky with another stripe. Stripe-y Christmas to me!

Anyway, I did find most of the floss I needed, and the rest I had in stash. And I am using fabric from my stash as well, some aida I had. It did feel a little odd to go in my stash, find the neutral bag, and then get out the fabric I needed, since I am usually so disorganized that I just buy new fabric, but it was a good kind of odd. I could get used to this.

I'm making good progress with the chart. I have the center lightpost done. It's nice. I think it will make a cute, albeit big, ornament and a nice addition to my collection.

I'm not dead, just a bit disconnected

I've been off for the past 5 days, 2 for the holiday, two for the weekend, and today as a "use or lose" day at work. I don't like to waste things, particularly not LEAVE, LOL. I didn't do a lot of out of the family interaction, except at my part-time job yesterday, but did go out tonight to Walmart and Jo-ann's. It was a bit overwhelming.

Although a slight vent is due. I love Jo-ann's ETC. They have nice holiday decorations. I looked at a little bench, since I'm always looking for something to display my Bearington Bears on under the tree. They were having a 50% off sale. They had these benches marked at $34.99, so it was $17.50 on sale. Problem was, it was really probably worth $17.50 to begin with. I left it there. A lot of their stuff was overpriced, so I'm figuring closer to Christmas, it will be more reasonable. And if it's not there, I'll probably find something as cute in the thrift stores over the next few months. These bears have been sitting on the floor or the back of the sofabed this long, they're not picky! It just seems funny to expect people to pay pre-recession prices, when people just don't have it. Anyway, vent off!


I didn't get any ornaments finished. I moped around on Friday, but I did work on Boo Club. I've decided that I have to put this away for the holidays as it did seem vaguely wrong to stitch a Frankenstein while watching Christmas shows on HGTV. So I'm done with it for now. All December will be holiday stuff! But I wanted to post a photo. It's coming along.

A Blessed Thanksgiving

I don't know how much I'll be around the next couple of days. HTB decided that he's gone meatless long enough--2 days, to be exact--so we're going out to dinner tonight--yay! And we're going to both houses tomorrow for dinner; before you ask, I'll be doing some pre-emptive ellipticalling, just so I can guiltlessly devour butter beans and stuffing. I hope that everyone has a restful, thankful Thursday.

This is the time of year to stop and think about the blessings of the year, our harvest of life! I am so blessed, mainly in that, most of the time, I get what I want, and not what I deserve. I have a good family, both birth and soon-to-be. I have a warm bed to sleep in, clean clothes to wear, there's usually food in the house, though, arguably, I don't know what to make for dinner when the meat is frozen, bread is too, and all I can lay my hands on are 7 bags of butterscotch morsels (for the record, I don't know why I have that many, it's a sensitive subject) and Rice a Roni, and I go to a job. I'm not sick, I'm not dying, I drive to work every morning and get to see the sun rise. And that is worth being thankful for.

And maybe this Thanksgiving is a bit more joyous, because the year was so hard. I don't know about anyone else, but I've learned the value of a dollar this year. I've stood in Safeway and told HTB that there is not enough difference in taste between store-brand pasta and name brand pasta to warrant spending 25 cents a box more on the name brand. I've learned I don't need new clothes all the time, and having a gym with low rates isn't a bargain if you never use it. And I can see the difference. Cash is a wonderful teaching tool, since I no longer spend thoughtlessly. My credit card balances are dropping--I've HALVED the balance on one of them--since, when you have to pay cash, having the perfect shade of red lipstick or a new outfit once a month isn't that important. They're now the treats they were supposed to be all along, and are appreciated as such. I had an appointment at the dentist yesterday to fix a broken filling and it hurt so bad that I went to CVS and treated myself to a gift set from E.L.F. $2.99 for 4 lipglosses--AWESOME, and I am getting as much pleasure from them as I did from the more expensive ones. So, there is teaching an old dog new tricks.

Enjoy your holiday. Eat plenty of stuffing. Forget that there is butter in the butterbeans. We can exercise in January.

Go Cowboys!

Ornaments

I have two to show you.

This was made for me by Riona, who writes a wonderful blog. She read my post bemoaning the lack of pinecone charts and made this for us, as an engagement gift. I am so blessed! I love the ornie. So gorgeous! Thank you, Regina!





I almost feel ashamed to post this along with hers, but this is the ornament I have been finishing all week. I have to say, I'm pretty proud of it, although it's nowhere near perfect. I'm learning a lot of the fine-tuning of ornament making, and sucking in all the knowledge that I can get, and it's starting to pay off. At least I think so!

Something's missing here . . .

Oh, yeah, photos.

Sorry I've been so lax in posting photos. It's been a busy weekend.

HTB brought home an elliptical machine. His buddy was getting rid of it, and asked if he wanted it. I've finally realized I don't like lifting weights, and our neighborhood is not exactly fit for cardio exercise (I actually made myself physically ill for an hour riding my bike one day--talk about embarrassing), and I've been toying with rejoining a gym just to get cardio. I don't know about anyone else, but there's something rather satisfying about finishing a cardio session and seeing how many calories I've expended. And I was losing weight like crazy when I was doing 25 minutes of elliptical, 20 minutes of weights, and then another round of cardio work. So I was more than overjoyed to have this new piece of equipment, and I had to test it out yesterday. I'm a bit out of shape, but I figure, give me two weeks or so, and I'll start seeing some progress.

Last night was the family birthday for me. I had a great time. We had a wonderful dinner, followed by cake with cream cheese mousse filling. My parents came over, too; it was a nice way for our families to meet, considering we have to start really planning the wedding now.

Today, I've been working. I finished another ornament today, an old freebie from Homespun Elegance called "Peace"--I don't even know where the chart is anymore, that's how old it is. I backed it with the same fabric I used for the ornament exchange ornament--I thought it would look good. And it does. I even bought invisible thread to sew the cording on--my first reaction to that was that it was like stitching with strands of hair, LOL.

I will try to post photos when I get home.